she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
