So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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