Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
