it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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