I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
