i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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