Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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