dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
