we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
