Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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