No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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