I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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