You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
