How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
