how do flat chested girls get laid?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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