OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
