Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
