gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
