Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
