i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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