is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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