I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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