I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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