I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
