he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she pinky promised me she was 18
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
