I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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