Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
