I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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