...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
