I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
