i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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