There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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