I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
