Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
