Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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