why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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