I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
