try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
