bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
