I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
