shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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