Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
