i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
