This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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