Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize