too bad you live with your parents still
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
