New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
