Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
