do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
