i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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