2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
