I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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