No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
