Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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