I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
