Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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