I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
