Got a toothbrush?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
