Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
