Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A bitchslap is in order.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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