He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
