I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
