So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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