I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize