i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
