whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
