dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize