Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
